The Everyday Adventure

We all have those moments, you know, you tell yourself I need to do this, or I need to do that before it becomes an issue.  On the morning of Thursday, April 29, 2021, that happened. I decided to be productive before leaving for the airport.  I went out to use the weedeater on the yard.  Yes, my yard is so small I only have to use the weedeater and it only takes about 5 minutes. 

I get the yard cut and put everything away and go to walk back in the house. Then it happened.  I locked myself out!  Are. You. Serious?! I must’ve, out of habit, locked the door when I went out to cut the grass. What am I going to do? Did I mention my phone was sitting on the kitchen counter?  Well, it was.  How had I not hidden a key outside? My friend, Liza, has a key but not having a phone made it impossible to call her.  So, I go out to my car and look for a card or something to try and jimmy the door open.  I found an old gift card and decided to give it a try.  I kept trying and trying but couldn’t get it to release. (Yay for strong locks and doors!)

I go back out to my car and think, if my phone is in range then I could potentially make a phone call to my friend. Of course, it can’t find the phone. I go back up to the door and try to jimmy the lock again. It still wasn’t working.  I thought well maybe if I drive my car up in the yard my phone will be in range. I pull my car up in the yard and it’s still not in range. Insert eye roll here.  Now it’s getting to be a little after 9 am and I need to leave for the airport in about 40 minutes.

What do I do? I go back out to my car one more time and see if I can find something else larger to jimmy the lock. I find a greeting card, and decide to give it a try, but I just can get the angle to pop the door open. (yes, I’ve done this before at other places I’ve lived…haha.) Now running through my head is, do I just try and break the door and hope I can deadbolt it when I go to leave? I push on the door really hard, like really put my hip into it, several times and it’s not budging.  I would make a terrible burglar.  I could not get that door open.

So, I go with my only other option.  I rip the screen and get it removed and realize that I’m going to have to break the window. I go into the shed and see what I can find to potentially break the glass. I find a metal grilling spatula and a towel.  I think maybe if I put the towel against the window and hit it with the end of the spatula, it will break.  I look out to see if my neighbor’s cars are home and thankfully, both neighbors on each side have already left for work. I go over and give it a try.  I hit the window a couple of times and make zero progress on breaking the glass.  Good to know I have some heavy duty windows, but I REALLY need to get in my house.

I go back out to the shed and look for something heavier to try again.  I have a weight set in there and take the metal dumbbell bar and decide this is gonna have to work.  I hit the window a couple of times while holding up the towel and it’s not doing anything.  What is this glass made of?! I throw the towel to the side and give it a couple more good whacks.  It makes a mark this time; so, I hit it harder. CRASH!!! I did it! The glass is broken and all over the patio.  When the glass fell it cut my foot a little and now I’m bleeding.  I put the bar away and go back to the window to try and crawl in only to see there is another pane still intact! Seriously, what is this thing made of? I’ve already made a terrible noise and am sure the neighbors have definitely called the police on me.

I got get the bar back out of the shed and give it another whack. The rest of the glass comes crashing down making another terrible noise. Now, I can reach in and raise the window and climb into the house.  There is glass all over the patio and in my kitchen. I’m bleeding and have 30 minutes to shower, get dressed, pack, cover the window and leave for the airport.

I somehow made it to the airport on time but there was still glass everywhere.  Moral of the story, don’t try and be so productive in the morning and always have a hide-a-key!  I took off on the trip hoping the weather would be ok all weekend until I can get back from the work trip and that no one has robbed me! 

When I returned home everything was just as I left it.  Glass everywhere. Window covered in plastic and all my belongings still in my home.  Thankfully my tiny backyard is fenced in so no one could really tell the window was broken.  It took a few weeks for the new glass to come in to get it fixed but it’s good as new!

I would be an absolutely terrible burglar.